Jenni Monkiewicz   

The common advice to leaders is to be transparent and authentic. To say what you think, bring your original self to work, and open up to build close and trusting relationships with your team. But how does trust grow? Or when does “honest and direct communication” turn into self-sabotage? Having lived corporate life for over 20 years, I can say that it’s purposeful to have professional guardrails and situational awareness. Listening and asking have become the valued currency in leadership, and emotional intelligence guides skilled leaders to know when and how it’s justified to share an uncensored opinion. 

Not every thought a leader has is ready to be spoken. It gets even worse when the thoughts that come out are a reaction, not a well-thought-out response. In my experience, the best leaders take time to understand others, know their audience, know themselves, and appreciate different opinions as opportunities to create something better than they would have done by listening only to their own speech. 

This matters for leaders because a leader’s words are amplified. A passing, unfinished opinion can be translated unfavourably, and by the time it reaches the organisation, the game of telephone has turned it into something that was never meant. Ron Carucci’s piece for Harvard Business Review on psychological safety found that only about a quarter of leaders build the skill of creating it, in part because they mistake voicing freely for openness. But the balance can be maintained: Whether you express a doubt, a considered reflection, or a fast reaction, it needs to be followed with a check-in: What meaning was made? What came through? That is a practical way to nurture psychological safety.

I think the question worth asking is not whether you are being open enough or not open enough. It’s about the dialogue that follows and how skillfully engaged you are in it to influence as a leader. True authenticity isn’t about unfiltered sharing; it’s about leading with intention. By staying curious and tailoring your message to the team’s needs, you foster trust and build a collaborative environment.